Gordon Smith's Nightmare?

Like any cookie-cutter conservative politician worth his salt, Oregon Sen. Gordon Smith's impeccably perfect hair is his finest virtue.

If I didn't know better, I'd think he gets his haircuts at that Playdoh beauty shop where kids pump clay though holes in a tiny figurine's head and then "style" it by pressing it in a mold and cutting away any excess.

But what I'd really like to know is how Smith's fellow conservatives -- who derided John Edwards' "Breck Girl" perfect hair -- feel about Gordon's attention to his own flawless locks?

Better still, how do the conservative hacks who attacked John Edwards as a phony populist because of the personal wealth he earned after rising from his family's modest means feel about Smith's fortune, which was handed to him by his aristocratic family?

Oh, the headaches such hypocrisy must cause for those poor conservatives of Oregon's Republican Party. It's no wonder they don't have enough energy left to come up with viable candidates for statewide offices in Oregon.

But I digress. This post is supposed to be about hair. And to that end, I wonder if Gordon Smith ever wakes up in a cold sweat after having this nightmare: